Un-invent Leaf Blowers!

If you could un-invent something, what would it be?

A pretty whimsical consideration, but I’ll take the bait. Of course there are all sorts of tragic happenings across human history that might make tempting subjects. Likewise a few technologies that offer at least as many dangers as benefits that invite consideration for un-inventing. (Where is Neil Postman when we need a Technopoly sequel?!) But editing out subjectively undesirable inventions would be folly. With. One. Exception. Leaf blowers. Yes, friends, if I were handed the magic eraser wand for even an instant, I’d promptly un-invent leaf blowers. Poof!

If only I 
could un-invent
all leaf blowers —
those backpack jets
of angry air
that scatter leaves
and drown my thoughts —
with one willed wish,
then, poof, they’re gone!
No engine growl,
no siren shriek,
no exhaust fumes,
no listless trudge,
no slow sweeping
arm, side-to-side,
no senseless blast
of red and gold
from here to there
and there to here. 
In newfound hush
a simple song
of ringing rake, 
crunch-crunching leaves,
footfall whispers
bird melodies,
squirrel scurries,
calm quietude,
a mindful stroll,…

Almost forever — which is to say, up until a few of years ago — we HAD forbidden the use of leaf blowers at Rosslyn and ADK Oasis. Too loud. Too smelly. Too polluting. Too impractical. For years, we prevailed, convincing hardworking groundskeepers that rakes and a little exercise were our preference. But we’re gradually conceding defeat as the ubiquitous leaf blower expands dominion.

But if I could utter a spell or brew a concoction that would once and for all un-invent leaf blowers, I’d leap at the opportunity!