Ever since I asked (and answered) the question “Why are my cukes turning yellow/orange?” I’ve been inundated with inquiries about orange cucumbers. Are yellow-oranging cucumbers safe to eat? Do they taste bitter? How can I use orangey-yellow cukes?
While I’m flattered with your confidence that I can demystify your quandaries related to orange cucumbers, it’s time to go full disclosure. My gardening experience and perspective are super subjective. My actual *scientific* expertise is negligible. And my vegetable garden triumphs and fiascos are best regarded as anecdotal.
Orange Cucumbers Riff
Caveat emptor aside, I hope you’ll join me for a rambunctious riff on discolored cukes with no meaningful advice and no implied guarantees. After all, when knowledge is slim, lean into poetry! (Of course, your mileage may vary.)
As green thumb inquiries
for vine ripe tomatoes
and full headed lettuce
ease then ebb,
fall fervor flows
to colorful corn kernels
and pompadoured pumpkins
with snaggletooth grins.
I’m tempted to revisit
the midsummer enigma
of cucumber cukes,
trellised or sprawling,
lush canopied and micro-spiked,
round and chubby-stubby
or curly-attenuated,
and ripe-ripening into pickles
or gazpacho or sandwich.
Knifing the crisp, crunchy
flesh on the bias,
or end-to-end slivered,
speared, crescent mooned,
this orange cucumber is
bellicose and celestial,
a bursting chrysanthemum,
a blazing headdress,
a sun dried citrus slice,
a September sunrise smeared
across a mountain
muddled horizon.
The oranging skin
is a warning:
I’m overripe,
too mature,
untasty, even bitter,
and I’m 100% unfit
for human consumption.
Troubleshooting Cuke Coloration
If freestyle riffing sans constructive takeaways isn’t what you need at the moment (i.e. a garden-full of cukes ready for mini jack-o’-lanterns), then you might prefer my earlier post:
Recently the enormous fruit are discoloring from green to yellow to orange before we can eat them. Here’s the reason why.
What do you think?