Opossum O’Clock

You’ve heard of happy hour. And maybe even beer blogging. But opossum o’clock?

Earlier this evening (or late this afternoon, if you’re still jet lagging from the standard time to daylight savings time adjustment,) Carley burst into a barking frenzy. Bark, bark, bark,… Not an excited “My momma’s home!” bark. Nor an “I need to pee” bark. It was an unmistakable alarm bark.

So I extracted myself from my desk chair and headed down to the sunporch where she’s taken to snoozing, tucked between pillows on the sofa, most days lately.

But she wasn’t on the sofa. She was alert at the glass doors, pointing, hackles high. All business.

So I followed her gaze to the stonewall around the back deck where a fat opossum was waddling. Carley was incensed. Why wouldn’t I let her out? She wanted to show that overgrown rat who was boss around here!

The opossum finally made her/his way up and over the snow bank, across the driveway, and then began an ungainly exit toward the hemlock hedge. At least until Carley seemed less threatening at which point the opossum made a 90° turn to the right and began waddling down toward the bird feeders hanging under the ginkgo tree.

Opossum, Oh, Possum

What to make of these quirky characters that have become commonplace in the Adirondacks despite the fact that I never saw one in this area in the 1970s and 1980s when I was growing up. Are they even native?

I turned to ChatGPT, the chatbot causing such a stir lately, to see what light it might shed (or make up).

Yes, the opossum is native to North America. In fact, it is the only marsupial that is native to the continent. Opossums can be found throughout much of the United States and Mexico, as well as parts of Central America and Canada. They are known for their distinctive appearance, including their long snout, hairless tail, and opposable thumbs on their hind feet. Opossums are also well-known for their ability to “play dead” when threatened, which is actually a defensive mechanism called thanatosis. (Source: Source: ChatGPT)

Not 100% sure that’s all tip-top information given the rather dubious ChatGPT answer that was shared with me earlier today by David Howson. (More on that tomorrow perhaps?) Let’s see what Wikipedia contributors believe about the opossum.

Opossums (/əˈpɒsəm/) are members of the marsupial order Didelphimorphia (/daɪˌdɛlfɪˈmɔːrfiə/) endemic to the Americas. The largest order of marsupials in the Western Hemisphere, it comprises 93 species in 18 genera. Opossums originated in South America and entered North America in the Great American Interchange following the connection of North and South America.

The Virginia opossum is the only species found in the United States and Canada. It is often simply referred to as an opossum, and in North America it is commonly referred to as a possum (/ˈpɒsəm/; sometimes rendered as ‘possum in written form to indicate the dropped “o”). Possums should not be confused with the Australasian arboreal marsupials of suborder Phalangeriformes that are also called possums because of their resemblance to the Didelphimorphia. The opossum is typically a nonaggressive animal. (Source: Wikipedia)

Seems like there’s enough overlap to set us straight (and enough Australasian unclarity to invite confusion?)

Let’s turn instead to a far more reliable source, poetry.

Opossum Poem

Oh, possum, opossum,
our springtime may have come;
narcissus nudging up,
snow melting into mud.

Perhaps prehensile tail,
opposable thumbs, and
dying art theatrics
have inured you to threats.

Or perhaps you're aware
that my Labrador's barks
are booming bluster not
cause for canine concern.

But beware, snouty snoop,
that winter's not finished,
and precocious parades
hint-hinting at hubris

may well invite frigid
flashbacks, hail, blizzards, and
temperate day delays
with bites bigger than barks.

Playing Opossum

[Witnessing the curious creature investigating our deck and yard, I’m transported back to another opossum memory, this one from December 23, 2008 during our early days living at Rosslyn with Griffin, our Labrador prior to Carley.]

Saturday morning and we’re sitting in the morning room eating waffles in our bathrobes and slippers. We’ve slept in, lazed around, made breakfast, and lingered over the ritual of starting our day.

It snowed last night. Not much, but just enough to cover everything. Maybe an inch. Wet snow. Like white frosting coating everything.

Suddenly I’m aware that a critter is making its way across the front lawn toward us. Actually Griffin realized it, stood up from his bed abruptly and pointed, hair on his back standing straight up, low rumbling half barks alternating with half threatening, half excited glances at us then back at the animal. Like a huge rat. Wet from the soggy snow. Dragging itself across the grass, then across the gravel driveway, then across the grass between the driveway and the house. He was coming right toward us and Griffin was not sure whether to be protective or excited.

“An opossum,” Susan and I both said at the same time.

“I’ve never seen one here,” I said.

“Me either,” Susan said.

“Looks like he’s headed for the trash bins,” I reasoned and picked up my Blackberry from the table. “I want to go take a picture.”

“Don’t go out there.”

“Why not?”

“He could bite you. They’re mean.”

“I won’t get that close. Just a quick picture then I’ll be back in.”

The opossum had managed to pull himself up the stone step to the deck and was waddling past the sliding doors of the garbage and recycling shed toward the back deck.

I opened the door and headed outside in my bathrobe and slippers to get a closer look and a photo.

And then, as if Susan had cast a spell upon me, totally wipe out.

I fell on my back, head bouncing off the deck, limbs splayed to the from corners, bathrobe wide open, buck naked, looking up at the sky. And at a freaked out opossum literally a foot from my face, chattering his teeth menacingly.

Susan was laughing, Griffin was barking wildly inside, I was stunned, and the opossum was presiding.

“Why isn’t he playing dead,” I asked.

“Why should he? You already are?”