Crappy Homecoming

Sorry about that title. Crappy homecoming. Yuck. Not exactly the eggnog-y, balsam fire aromas one dreams of this time of year.

Joyful Homecoming

One blessing of living at Rosslyn is that travel – no matter how captivating – never eclipses the joy of returning home. That’s a bizarre admission from an unabashed wanderer, but it’s true. I’m always excited to return home.

But that may change. Soon.

We just returned from a week and a half in Santa Fe, and while there was much to celebrate upon our return (not the least of which is six inches of dry, powdery snow) something’s unmistakably septic at Rosslyn.

Literally.

Stinky, Crappy Homecoming

Are you catching my drift? I’ll spare you the full details, but the delicate overview is something like this:

• Half bath toilet plugged up.
• Sewage leaked into sports gear closet.
• Mess, stench, etc. almost unbearable.
• Yes, this is a repeat performance.

Contractor who plumbed the house must not have understood physics of pitch and gravity. The problem is likely to occur again for a third (and fourth, fifth, sixth…) time because the looong waste pipe which serves the bar sink, bar ice maker, half bath sink and toilet, pantry sink and washing machine lacks the necessary pitch to ensure that all waste – including “solids” – empty properly to the septic tank outside. Again?!?!

Yes.

Short/Long Term Solutions

We’re trying to put the crappy homecoming behind us. A plumber-Roto-Rooter tag team cleared the blockage, and my bride and I spent most of the day remediating the mess. Not fun. At all.

We did squeeze in a magnificent cross country ski to savor the sunset and moonrise from the quiet, aroma-free, perfect powder meadows and wooded trails west of Rosslyn. One part carpe diem and one part “We better remind ourselves why it’s great to be home!”

For a while it was bliss. Spectacular conditions. Ecstatic dog. Picture perfect sun and moon performance art.

But darkness fell, and we’re back to cleaning. And planning.

No More Crappy Homecomings

Apparently the contractor who installed the half plumbing neglected to suggest an obvious solution for a long waste line with inadequate pitch. It’s called a sewage macerator pump. I’ll spare you the description of what it does, but the benefit it that once we install it, we should never have to experience another crappy homecoming. Well, not literally at least!

And that will be worth it’s weight it gold. Which is what the installation is likely to cost judging by today’s rapidly accruing bills…